Russia

Archived Tweets

Tweets

[Because of timezone differences the dates may overlap a little]

2008

Nov 8

We've signed up to Twitter so it'll hopefully be an easy way to blog whilst on the rally. We'll also blog leading up to it as well.

Feel free to become a Follower directly on the Twitter site if you like, else you can read the stuff over at mongolrally2009.org

2009

Jul 14

Have got ninety percent of what I'm taking packed, bagged and boxed ready to put in he car on Friday morning.

Jul 16

Raring to go!

Jul 17

We're off (to the Ace Cafe).

Grabbing stuff from Halfords to stop the car leaking.

Jul 18

Cold. In a tent. Not even leaving England until tomorrow. So tired.

Today we got to foreign lands. Better.

On the train waiting to head to France.

274 Miles - Chunnel, Folkestone, Kent/England

315 Miles - Veurne, Belgium

Jul 19

573 Miles - Cologne, Germany

2:30am local time. Time to find somewhere to camp.

Prettty much 4am. We've found a very cheap hotel. Don't judge it's been a LONG day.

747 Miles - Weimar, Germany

Jul 20

In Prague. It's almost 3am. Very tired.

Nice sleep, shower and breakfast. Off into Prague to find the Kafka museum

Really quite warm.

Waking round the town square. Had some cannabis tea. Tasted quite nice.

1,010 Miles - Prague, Czech Republic

Back to the hostel to grab our stuff then a two and a half hour drive to the castle in Klatovy for a party.

After stopping to watch steam coming put of Tim and Debbie's bonnet we're now back en-route to the castle.

One of the cars convoying with us is seemingly in a BAD way. How long do we hold back and wait to see if it's fixable?

Or - at worst - replaceable.

Jul 21

6am. What to do with John and Cillian's potentially done-for car?

Awake. Two hours sleep due to music. Need to work out what to fo about John / Cillian's car.

Dodgy piston ring on the Terios? Could be. (apparently)

Disappointingly we find ourselves at Tesco.

The plan that has just been hatched is unbelievable. [2022 Edit - I don't remember what it was]

Headed to the bone church.

At a camp site by the bone church.

Jul 22

Ten hours sleep and a shower. Looks like it's going to be a hot day. Big arse lump on my arm from a mosquito.

Ambling towards Oolish border.

Crossed into Poland. Currently in Auschwitz.

Unsurprisingly walking through the gas chambers is pretty grim.

Just gone midnight. About 100k from Ukranian border. Camping by road. Up at 8am to carry on to border.

Jul 23

At a garage with team "I Mongol'd your mum". Another day. Another car with problems.

We're pretty close to the Ukranian border.

FINALLY queuing at the Ukraine border.

Through customs. Waiting on rest of convoy. Kept laughing at "Whitby" as for some reason it's unpronounceable in Ukranian.

The teams driving the ambulance and fire engine have been asked for $10,000. Each. In cash. To get into Ukraine.

Even some normal cars are being asked for 3000-4000 Ruros just because they have temporary V5 forms.

The "tax" for the ambulance has gone down to 9000 euros for both ambulance and fire engine.

We were pulled over by the cops one minute from the border. Kieran talked us out of a fine.

Spent a lot of time finding a lake in an area with unfinished roads and precious few signs. Lake no hood for camping. Now just looking f ...

I really would like to stop being bitten by Mosquitos. If that's okay with them.

Somewhere in Ukraine checking out a £10 hotel as there's nowhere to park.

Not park. I mean camp.

Miles 1,720 - Somewhere in Ukraine

1,936 miles since home. Kiev by the evenIng is the plan.

Jul 24

230km to Kiev ( or knib or Kyiv or whichever spelling they're using today).

Jul 25

Currently staying with Kieran's lovely friends on the edge of the Chernobyl exclusion zone.

Off to another town to meet Vasser.

In a Ukrainian forest listening to Irish bagpipe music played on Spanish bagpipes.

In town square. The whole community comes out to watch a mentally great coloured musical fountain. Ukraine is a truly wonderful country.

Jul 26

Up at 8am. Really need to get near the Russian border today.

At a service station guessing at what various meats might be. Have picked and they just put it in a microwave. Thems gonna be some good ...

Tastes like beef... and a LOT of mushroom. Bastards.

Lonely Planet Russian phrasebook contains such useful things as "Is that why you're single?"

Currently, about 100km from the Russian border looking for somewhere to sleep.

Jul 27

In a field on the Uzbekistan / Russian border drinking tea out of a bowl before going through the looking glass.

2:30pm and all we've had for food is a cup of tea. It's the infamous Mongol Rally diet.

Watching a man herd geese with a whip whilst waiting for more teams to turn up so we can cross the border together.

Trying to leave Ukraine. Three day transit visa but this is day five. May be s problem even though as Europeans we should get thirty da ...

A nod, a wink and a ten-dollar bribe... Now in no man’s land waiting to try and get into Russia.

Sat in room with various Russian peeps and filled out car related forms. Fours hours in total and we're now in Russia!

Russian border guard came over to find put why I was taking photos near a border. I showed him a picture of a dog and he went away again.

In the world's loudest bar trying to figure out if a photo is fish, chicken or some as yet identified animal.

Best guess having tasted it is that it's chicken mixed with honey puffs. Went to get some American mustard from the car.

Why does a drunk Russian man keep asking for my phone number? It's all getting odd.

We find ourselves in a Russian field. We were pulled over by the police but all is well.

It appears a prostitute has written her number on our windscreen in lipstick. Which is odd. I only wanted a cup of tea.

Jul 28

On the road again. Headed for Volgograd.

50km from Volgograd.

Russia is pretty grim. Vast swathes of grimness.

Driving round Volgograd trying to find a hotel. Any hotel. Just one. Please?

Half-past midnight. Waiting on some kebabs. Day in Volgograd planned for tomorrow.

1am. No sign of kebabs.

29 Jul

Waiting for a taxi to take us into the centre of Volgograd to go hat shopping.

It appears that the orphanage car is now flagged as stolen because of a documentation problem. If John has to go to sign it in the Ukrai ...

Have a visa to get back into Russia. Interesting.

Saw an AMAZING statue. Bought two Russian hats for Max.

Waiting for steak whilst John phones the Irish embassy in Ukraine about being a fugitive in Russia.

Between a fixer in Ukraine and the number for some top guy in the Irish government, it's turning into an interesting afternoon.

As it stands John isn't allowed to leave Russia. Which could be problematic.

On the plus side... the dessert menu looks nice.

John has gone to the airport to drive over "stolen" car over the Polish border. He'll then get a plane to Kazakstan and meet us there. ...

Kieran has had a police escort to the airport. Someone from one team has rabies and is in hospital. Good times.

Best make a cup of tea.

11:30pm local time. Very heavy rain. Deciding whether to push on for dryer roads and camp or find a cheap hotel.

Jul 30

Another morning in a field. Another lot of driving. Another push for a border.

Just driving up to the Russian/Kazakhstan border. Hopefully, it'll be a quick drive through. 3,548 miles since home.

Two hours in and waiting in no man’s land.

Words cannot describe what a properly miserable experience the Kazakstan border is.

Jul 31

A man is herding goats on a camel.

Apparently, the Mongolian border is closed. Border guards not getting paid.

In Atyrau, Kat found a hotel with wifi, showers and food. Not in that order.

In a hotel in Atyrau. Air-conditioning, chandelier. £12.

Aug 1

2pm. Someones car isn't starting so they're off to get some new spark plugs. Fingers crossed.

Why is it raining in Kazakstan? Surely that can't be right.

Must have been on this road for over four hours without a single bend.

Eagles are soaring above us.

We've just clocked our 4000th mile. We're halfway to Mongolia.

This road is amazing. Much smoother than the M4. Honestly.

Every 15 minutes or so people are camped out on what is essentially a motorway selling watermelons. I can't imagine they sell many. Look ...

Hot dogs wrapped in tortilla with American mustard. Best campfood yet. Wish I'd dropped less on the floor though.

Aug 2

Having spent yesterday travelling North to avoid an awful road; today we get to travel East towards Aktobe.

In a cafe in Aktobe. Seven hours driving in a straight line.

Really feeling sorry for John. Stuck in Prague and now the hostel has lost his passport.

The view of our cars out of the cafe window. [As per 2022, Picture now lost]

My tired face.

Another hole. At least this one flushes.

Time to get a little closer to Aral (not to be confused with Oral which is where we started off from this morning)

11:30pm and we've pulled off the main road, away from some shanty towns and into a... field.

Oh... and we just saw either a jet or a UFO. Not sure which.

Aug 3

On the way to Aral. About seven hours drive.

Last two petrol stations had run out of petrol.

In the World’s dustiest town. Just saw a pudgy faced baby.

Aug 4

Aug 4, 2009

Off-roading, 14 hour drive, Kazak family, vodka, gherkins, slept on cafe floor.

Finally in Aral. Took 18 hours and not 7.

Headed towards Baikonur.

Almost 2am. We're still driving. 16 hours and counting.

It's 3am. We may be in a landfill site. We have warm gin and tonic. It's been a LONG day.

Warmed by a pair of Andrew's trainers burning merrily on the path.

Aug 5

Not sure where we are. Not sure where we are going. Apart from that the jobs a good un'

Got petrol. Had a breakfast of lamb ribs (perhaps). We signed their fridge. First police stop of the day. Documents.

Due to a confusion surrounding pricing we now have way too many watermelons in the car.

In a four star hotel for £10/person.

Aug 6

Off to have a quick look at the market before pressing on to Tashkent.

Tarp on car roof no more due to possible bird strike.

Aug 9

Kyrgystan gets the vote for the most beautiful country.

Aug 10

On the top of a mountain. Car struggled to so 20mph in second gear. Slow going. Lovely mountains.

In Bishkek watching the second music fountain of the trip.

Someone did Mongoliain four days. That gives me hope.

Aug 11

Kryg/Kazak border this morning. Over 1000km to the Mongolian border. Need to get there for Thursday. Sounds like hard work.

Only an hour and a half to cross the border. That's worth a celebratory cup of tea! Today is a good day.

Three lanes on road but four lanes of traffic. People aren't taking any prisoners.

Aug 12

Time to break out the Immodium.

Just spent a nice hour with the Kazakhstan army.

Aug 13

One hour twenty minutes waiting our turn at Shamanaika border. Will be a long one.

Pretty much three hours to leave Kazakhstan. How long to enter Russia?

Sooooo bored of sitting in No Man's Land.

6 1/2 hours. Finally back in Russia.

16 hours driving yesterday. 5 hours sleep. Another long day ahead. Tough going.

Is it too much to ask that it's possible to buy egg and chips in Russia?

In shock news: Northern Russia absolutely freezing.

Aug 14

23 hour day. 1 hour sleep in car. Back inroads.

In a chalet type hotel just 500km from Siberia. Nice but cold. Two jumpers on. May have to put kettle on.

Had a nice morning playing catch with Mr and Mrs Kim's son by the river. Melon and tea for breakfast.

Having lunch with a helicopter pilot who flew over Chernobyl.

4:45am and time to get up for the drive to the border.

Aug 15

Apparently it's 8 centigrade but it feels absolutely freezing. So so cold. Uses to very joy weather I guess.

Only twelve hours twenty minutes to go... How time flies.

At the Russian/Mongolian border which doesn't open for another sixteen hours.

We hear that there's a foiot of snow in Mongolia. We're about 15 miles from Tashanta (maybe 50 from border) and there are certainly lots ...

Aug 22

Have booked into rough hotel for £4. A hundred wild dogs bark outside. Yes, a hundred.

Aug 23

Have arrived at the last town before UB.

Lots of signs to UB now. About 200km to go. Cooking pasta.

How can we not find a whole capital city?

9576 miles and have arrived in UB.

Aug 24

Off to the finish line this afternoon. Trying to figure out what to pack to bring home.

Feels strange seeing lots of people.

Looking at a menu. Steamed sheep's head is only three pounds for a full head.

I have ordered horse. May be a non-starter.

Horse penis gies well with gherkin.

We've still not visited the finish line so techicallly we've not finished.

At finish line chatting to equally tired teams.

Aug 25

Final full day in UB. Will try and head over to CNCF.

Bags packed. Off to CNCF.

I don't want to leave Ted the car behind.

About to go and sign over the car.

I'm sad to leave Ted the car.

Yesterday in UB.

Finish line.

This menu says Gordon Blue and not Cordon Bleu.

Waiting for food.... Hotel in about three hours. So tired.

Aug 26

Plane has landed at Heathrow.

Aug 27

The day after I returned. Slightly less dirty, still tired, two stone lighter and bad stomach.

Still at the border

It's 7am and SOOO cold. No sign of any border guards. The border finally opened at 9am. I went to a little box with the V5 form. Long wait to get a stamp on a small sheet of paper. You're supposed to get it stamped if you have been in the Altai region for longer than three working days - which we were. The man in the office pointed at the blank space where the stamp wasn't. I did the international dance for 'No Hotel. No stay. Just drive. Hello. Have been at the border since Saturday."

10am and a big bus drove past and went straight in. No sign of any cars being let through yet.

Finally... Finally... Finally we got through to the Mongolian Border and confusion reigned supreme.

Russian Border

Sixteen hours to wait at the Russian / Mongolian border. Lots of kids holding out their hands for stuff. Understandable perhaps but there's no gratitude and they just hold out their hands for more and more stuff and try open your car door to get more.

Occasionally people drive up to the border and put their arms through the barbed wire and have a photo taken. Not sure why. Perhaps it's their 'Look at me, i'm in Mongolia' picture - even though they're not, they're just in a part of the Russian border.

Towards Baikonur

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Up relatively early and after some breakfast and a chat with our kind hosts we set off towards Baikonur (formerly known as Leninsk), the town set up to service the Baikonur Cosmodrome.

Every so often some graves would break up the monotony.  Seemingly always situated quite a way outside of the town they served they were relatively grand affairs.  As with Eastern Europe, you tended to get engravings of the deceased person's face etched onto the grave.

At some point (though tiredness prevents from remembering) we passed either through or very close to Baikonur.  I only remember vaguely as we'd stopped for gas at a service station and a child drew a picture of a rocket ship on the bonnet of our car.

By 2 am we were still driving. 16 hours and counting.

3am and we stopped to sleep. We're pretty sure it's a landfill site. We have warm gin and tonic. It's been a LONG day. Warmed by a pair of Andrew's trainers burning merrily on the path.
 

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Finally... into Russia.

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The continued push to the border.  Finally, after many rubbish roads, we got to the border at 2:30 pm.  By 4:30 pm the other teams have caught up and we all drive to the beginning of customs together.

We took our V5, Ukrainian exit bit of paper and passports to the window.  The guy behind the glass pointed at our Ukrainian transit visa stamp.  "Three days.  You here six.  Little problem."  It was actually five but still obviously not three.  He sent us over for insurance and we filed over to a shed to get what probably isn't worth the paper it's written on.  Insurance for Russia $60 for two weeks.  We'll need to get more when we re-enter Russia.

We took our insurance back to the border guard thingy we could move on to the next stage.  No.  He pointed to the "three-day transit" visa again.  Despite our being Europeans and therefore entitled to thirty days is will still "a problem".  Back to our car. Phone calls were made and after fifteen minutes we were beckoned over.  "$20 make the problem go away".  Out first non-speeding bribe.  We probably could have sat it out but between three of us it was only about £4 each and didn't seem worth it.

Bribe paid we moved on to the second stage of trying to leave the Ukraine.

The guards were more friendly this time and were seemingly coin collectors (not a euphemism for thieves and wanted to swap an Irish Euro for a Ukrainian coin.  I gave them a sew on patch with the Union Jack on.  All was good and we drove the short distance to Russian border control.

As the registered owner of our vehicle, I was taken into a room to fill in a form.  The Russian guard was pretty helpful.  After a brief mishap with ticking a box saying we had no communication equipment (we had the CB Radio) and my using the internationally recognised mime for 'we only use our CD radios inside Europe) I was sent to another room where a big burly guy typed the details from the form into his computer, printed out another form and got me to sign it and then proceeded to stamp the hell out of it.  Oh, how they love stamping things.  Suddenly he thrusted the form at me and bellowed "BYE! GO!".  It was very hard not to laugh.  We drove through the barrier.  We were in Russia!  Only four hours to get through customers.  Not bad at all. 

We drove until about 11 pm until we found a bar and ordered food.

I popped out to the car to get some mustard (as you do) and saw one of the Irish guys chatting to a bunch of Russians.  One called Vladimir kept shaking my hand and saying "We best friends."  In the spirit of international relations, I said "Yes" and spent the next hours and a half getting asked for my mobile number.

He seemed very keen that we all go swimming in a local river at one in the morning in some town I didn't know.  It really didn't seem like the best way to spend the evening.

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We left by 2 am or so to try and find a field to camp in.  We were flagged down by a policeman who just seemed curious and didn't seem bothered that women had drawn various things on our windscreen in lipstick.

At last, we found a field.  It was about 3 am.

Some Tweets from the day

In a field on the Uzbekistan / Russian border drinking tea out of a bowl before going through the looking glass.

2:30pm and all we've had for food is a cup of tea. It's the infamous Mongol Rally diet.

Watching a man herd geese with a whip whilst waiting for more teams to turn up so we can cross the border together.

Trying to leave Ukraine. Three day transit visa but this is day five. May be a problem even though as Europeans we should get thirty days.

A nod, a wink and a ten dollar bribe... Now in no man's land waiting to try and get into Russia.

Sat in room with various Russian peeps and filled out car related forms. Fours hours in total and we're now in Russia!

Russian border guard came over to find put why I was taking photos near a border. I showed him a picture of a dog and he went away again.

In the world's loudest bar trying to figure out if a photo is fish, chicken or some as yet identified animal.

Best guess having tasted it is that it's chicken mixed with honey puffs. Ride to get some American mustard from the car?

Why does a drunk Russian man keep asking for my phone number? It's all getting odd.

We find ourselves in a Russian field. We were pulled over by the police but all is well.

It appears a prostitute has written her number on our windscreen in lipstick. Which is odd. I only wanted a cup of tea.

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Volgograd

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We got a taxi into town to look for Russian hats (as I promised to buy Max one).  We walked over to see the "Mother Russia" statue (or rather than better translation, the "Mother Homeland" statue).

We were wandering around looking at the sites (such as the Eternal Flame located at Mameyev Kurgan in the Hall of the Warrior Glory in tribute to those who died defending the city between 1942 and 1943) when word came through that because our newly acquired travel companion wasn't allowed to leave Russia due his giving away his car in the Ukraine.  The car had now become flagged as stolen   He was, we were told, now a fugitive in Russia.  We went to lunch.  Whilst waiting for steak whilst John phoned the Irish embassy in Ukraine about being a fugitive in Russia.  Between a fixer in Ukraine and the number for some top guy in the Irish government it was turning into an interesting afternoon.  The basic details from the embassy were for John to get out of Russia and fast.


I hung around with some of the teams in a square in front of the Museum of Tractor factory and Kieran sped him to the airport.  He was given a police escort, though i'm not quite sure why since the police were out to arrest John.  We also heard news that another team was rushed to hospital with rabies after being bitten by a dog.  Good times.

11:30pm local time. Very heavy rain. We tried to decide whether to push on for drier roads and camp or find a cheap hotel. Best make a cup of tea and ponder it was the plan.

In the end we stayed in yet another field.

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Russia to Kazakhstan

We woke up in yet another field.  A lot of driving lay ahead with another push for yet another border.  The Russian/Kazakhstan.  We'd driven 3,548 miles since home and that was more-than-likely not even half way to our destination.  We were hoping for a quick border crossing but this wasn't to be.

The Russian/Kazakhstan border was undoubtedly the most miserable experience of the trip.  The guard had obviously been given something nice as a bribe by a previous team and kept pointing through the window into the back of the car saying "Gift!".  We needed everything we had and didn't have anything to give away as a gift.  He gave me a phone and said "Speak!".  I listened.  The phone was dead.  Was this some sort of crazy mind game?  My tired mind couldn't fathom out what was going on.  I held the phone to my ear and pretended to speak for a bit.  I gave the phone back and the guard went back to this "Gift!" spiel pushing his face right into mine.  I rummaged through the car and found a tin of mints with "Grumpy Git Mints" written on it.  Seemed suitable. "Valuable mints." I said and pushed them at him.  He waved us through.  Trust me as you read this that encounter lasted for a great deal longer than you're probably thinking.  Words cannot describe what a properly miserable experience the Kazakhstan border.

F**k the Kazakhstan border guards.

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